people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
