That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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