Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I will pee on everything he values.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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