he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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