I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
