He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize