Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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