id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I understand Curling. That high.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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