Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
