she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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