went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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