God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
