We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
