I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
