Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
