I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
