Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
40s are totally the cure
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
