i think my tv is drunk
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I understand Curling. That high.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
