i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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