she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
