yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
