oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
