I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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