There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
