is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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