would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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