well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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