oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
