There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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