I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize