We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
