He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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