last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
