R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
