yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize