Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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