I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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