I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize