What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
