Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
