I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
