just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize