It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
