you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
