like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
