btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize