I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
