Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize