Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
