Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
