New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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