Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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