Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I AM VODKA MAN
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize